Adrift Among The Stars

This story was originally published on TalesCreator.com as part of a contest.

"Do you regret it?" asked the nurse. She was slender and tall with red skin that looked almost like lava. Like most of the Argeids, her red skin was almost bioluminescent.

We sat in my room on the Provos, the passenger ship that was currently headed to Venus. It had large glass windows that looked out into space. You could see Venus already, its dense white cloud appearing like a dot in a dark sky.

"Sienna? Did you hear me?" the nurse was more insistent.

"Sorry Reina, I was too caught up in the view," I replied. "It's my first time off planet and on a spaceship...a once-in-a-lifetime experience." I chuckled.

"But, to answer your question...I don't regret it." I composed myself as much as one could laying on a bed.

"It's ok to be sad, happy, elated, or even angry. This is an important moment and all your feelings are valid because we all handle this sort of experience differently." She was tender and kind.

“There is no right or wrong way, there is only what works best for you.”

I suppose handling end-of-life moments like these forces one to become more sympathetic or perhaps the Argeids are simply more empathic than humans.

"I know...and thank you," I replied. "I have gone through the checklist. My lawyer and I sorted through all the assets, expenses, insurance, and the will." I stopped. Tears welled up and my heart raced.

"Take your time, there is no rush." She said as she held my hand.

I breathed in and out until my heart calmed. "And...I did the goodbyes. The kids and grandkids all gathered at the house and we had an all-nighter...I hadn't done one of those since Mikaela was a baby." I pointed to the picture of my two kids, Mikaela and Danny.

“That’s good to hear. Goodbyes can make this process easier on everyone.” She replied. “I am going to make sure everything is on track and good to go. Get some rest and I will let you know once we arrive.”

She sat up and left the room. I got up from the bed and grabbed my cane. The cancer was extensive and usually painful but the neural dampeners had dulled or eliminated most of the pain.

Walking was still difficult but manageable. At least I could walk now instead of being bedridden like I was those last 3 years.

I slowly made my way over to the window. It was showing a scene of the view outside my bedroom on Earth. There were trees as far as the eye could see, a typical sight of living in the mountains in Washington but still as captivating as ever. This must have been from last summer, everything was lush and green with not a hint of snow or frost.

I closed my eyes and swore I could smell the pine trees and hear the crackling of the wood burning in the fireplace. There were even the commotions of Mikaela and Danny fighting over who got the last piece of cake we ordered from our favorite bakery.

The memories made my heart ache as tears started to swell again in my eyes.

“Come on Sienna, no more tears. You are past that now. Time to enjoy these last moments with dignity and a smile.” I said to myself.

However much I thought that or said it out loud, it did not make the process any easier. Death is rarely a happy or joyous moment. After the diagnosis, I did not know how much time I had left but terminal cancer was terminal even with all the advances we had made in the last 50 years since meeting the Argeids.

I thought back to my last day at the hospital. It was a sunny Friday afternoon. We had considered so many different options for how to proceed forward once the final treatments failed to get rid of the cancer.

If this was going to be the end of the line, I thought that it should be something spectacular that I had never done before. It was then that the doctor mentioned a new method offered by the Argeids.

The Argeids viewed death in the same light as life. It should be treated with dignity and be offered to all those in need of it. So, on your final journey and final moments alive, they offered an experience of burning amidst the stars where you would see the Carina Nebula and become part of its cradle of life.

I remember signing the paperwork and being excited. It was nice to know that my final decision was something new and strange and also gratifying that I could choose my own end rather than succumbing to the pain of the disease.

The kids took a while to accept it. When we die, the living has to continue on with only memories of our time together and even that fades as we get older. 

I waved my hand and deactivated the images on the window. Venus was closer now and you could see the shapes within the clouds that covered it whole. The light of the sun refracted on it and made it seem like it was glowing. 

It was easier to see the space station in orbit around Venus. The Hesporos Space Station, modeled after the International Space Station, was considerably larger than the ISS and had concentric rings that emanated from both sides of the station. 

The rings were the stargazer technology of the Argeid that allowed us to travel beyond the confines of the solar system and would be how I get to the nebula.

This was it, the end of the line, and the final moments of my departure from this solar system and this life. It was a bittersweet thought to both embrace a new journey, however short, and leave behind a life surrounded by love.

I started gathering my things. These were the final pieces of my life that I took as a memento to go with me. Everything else was distributed among my children or donated to charities. I only kept a few pictures of the family, my favorite dress, and my favorite perfume. 

The perfume smelled of vanilla and warm spices layered with woody and smokey notes. It always reminded me of hiking through the forests with the grandkids as we searched for treasure in the mountains, which were candies and toys we hid around the area.

I tucked the picture in my pocket and sprayed some of the perfume on me. I left the bottle on the dresser and left the room.

The Provos, being a passenger ship, had numerous people onboard. But, for those in my situation, I opted for the more private section of the ship. As I stepped out of the room, I entered a hallway that was lined with other room doors on one side and large windows on the other side.

“Sienna?” asked the voice of Reina. Her voice sounded so clear as a projection of her appeared beside me in the hallway. “We are arriving now, can you please make your way down to the hanger bay.”

“Yes, I am on my way,” I replied. Feelings of jitteriness and nervousness flowed through me. “I am just enjoying the view one more time.”Reina smiled, “As I said, take your time, we are ready when you are.” The projection disappeared and I stood alone with a view of the planet.

There was nothing else to do except move forward so I made my way to the elevator and selected the hanger bay. The light vibration and rumbling as the elevator moved about the ship felt calming but it was a short ride as the door opened to the hanger.

The hanger bay was filled to the brim with ships and people, humans and argieds alike. Everyone was departing the Provos as they made their way to smaller ships and cruisers, heading to Venus and the HSS.

I stepped onto the nearby transporter and it scanned my biometrics to retrieve my destination and began to make its way to my ship. As we moved through the hanger, I was in awe of the number of people here. So many journeys were being taken and I wondered how many were like mine.

The transporter was getting close to a spherical ship covered in black glass-like panels with a single open door. Next to it stood my nurse.

I stepped off the transporter and made my way over to Reina. “Hello, Reina. I am ready to go.”

Reina stepped forward and clasped my hand. “Hello, Sienna. Thank you for being with us and allowing us to accompany you on this last journey.” Her hands were warm and her smile was tender and soft. “We hope that whatever awaits you beyond the stars and beyond this life is all that you wish and more.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “This has been a strange and sometimes difficult journey but I am looking forward to the end.”

She escorted me inside the ship. The light was a warm white and all the outside sounds faded away as the door closed. The room was smaller than the outside of the ship and covered in the same glass material as was on the outside. The only things inside were a very comfortable-looking chair, a side table to put my picture on, and a console with two buttons.

“This is where I will leave you now.” Reina gestured to the chair. “Please have a seat and when you are ready, press the green button. It will begin your final voyage and start the timer. If you change your mind at any time before the horizon point, press the red button and you will return here.”

I made my way over to the seat and placed the photo of the kids on the table. “I…am a bit nervous..” I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and shaky.

“Take all the time you need. Should you change your mind or need to delay it, I will be right outside the ship.” She replied as she clasped my shoulder. “Go in peace Sienna.” She turned and walked out of the ship as the door closed behind her.

I did my breathing exercises to calm myself down. It was a surreal feeling to have this level of control over my last moments. There was a small part of me that was scared and wanted to run away from this place and hide. But, the part of me that remembered all the pain and suffering I had gone through the past few years and knew what was coming regardless of my feelings was ready.

With a final deep breath, I pushed the green button. The lights dimmed and the ship began to rumble. The glass panels in front of me seemed to activate and showed me what was happening outside. The ship was following an automated process as it lifted into the air and began moving out of the hanger.

The ship approached the hanger exit, a barrier that separated the vacuum of space from the busy and crowded hanger bay. After a slight pause, the ship continued moving and left the hanger.

I could see the full breadth of the Pavos. It was equally busy out here as well with ships zipping in and out of the rings and other vessels docking onto the Pavos as well as the space station. My ship was headed to the rings.

The stargazer rings were made up of rare crystalline compounds harvested by the Argeids and nanites. In their inactive state, they were solid that resembled metal rings. But, in their active state, they were fluid and glimmered like light reflecting off the ocean. 

My ship moved to the base of the space station, in front of one of the inner rings. After a few seconds, the gravity in the ship deactivated and I started to float. The chair, table, and console were magnetized to the ground, so only I was floating. 

The black panels that lined the interior of the ship started to glow and activated their cameras to project the surrounding space. It was as if I were a bubble floating in space.

The rings in front of me started to become more fluid and eventually surrounded the ship. It felt like I was in a maelstrom of black sand and diamonds that involved me. It was breathtaking. The rings were activating their acceleration program to, in very simplistic terms, fling me towards the nebula. 

A notice appeared on the screen. 

Stargazer alignment complete, transportation in 3…2…1..accelerate.

It was a surreal moment. I did not feel anything besides the weightlessness of zero gravity but I could see the chair and table vibrate as the ship moved with incredible speed. The shimmer of the crystals amongst the black nanites looked like countless meteors streaking across a black sky.

It was like I was flying through space untethered and free. As the ship accelerated faster, the white streaks broke apart into a kaleidoscope of colors that fractured and reformed countless times. 

“Wow,” I whispered. It was amazing.

A screen appeared in front of me. It showed an image of the Carina Nebula. It was a reddish mountain range that stood tall that reached into a night sky filled with twinkles of light from nearby and distant stars.

The peaks of the “mountains” were large. Reina said that the largest was about 7 light-years tall, an unimaginable height. Even seeing it captured in front of me by the ship's cameras, was unbelievable. It also meant that we were getting closer now.

I would not see it like the image because the ship was set to land right in the middle of these red clouds of space gas and stars. I was almost there. The ship was starting to slow down and everything around me was starting to have the same orange-red glow of the nebula.

As the ship stopped, everything was thrown into darkness as the projectors turned off. I could hear my heartbeat and the slight hum of the engines. Slowly, the panels started to blink and turn on. 

The ship was now in the heart of the nebula and everything was so bright, surprisingly so for being in the vacuum of space. But, I suppose when you have countless numbers of new stars forming and being born, there is an almost endless supply of light sources nearby.

I could see a binary star system in front of me. The two stars were small and seemed like they were pulling strands of flame and dust from each other. They were surrounded by rings of heated gases and space debris that were all caught in the gravitational dance. Soon I would join them.

As we were getting closer to the stars, the gravity in the ship slowly activated and I gently fell to the ground. This was it, the end of the line as I passed the stars' horizon point. The console with the buttons stopped glowing and receded into the ground. 

Despite what must have been a tremendous amount of heating emitting from the stars, the inside of the ship was comfortable and cool. 

“This is such a wonderful view,” I said to myself. It was such a long journey and I was getting tired. “I think I shall get some rest and enjoy it.”

I adjusted my dress and took a seat in the chair. I looked at my picture and adjusted it so it faced me. There was a beeping red light on it and I pressed it and a video appeared on it.

“Hi Mom!” said the voices of Mikaela and Danny. The video was a montage of pictures. “By the time you are getting this, you will be on the last stop of the journey,” said the voice of Danny. 

“I know we all said our goodbyes, but we wanted to give you one last gift before you go,”said the voice of Mikaela. “We had all the kids pick out their favorite photos and memories they had with you and we put them here.”

“We will miss you mom and we will always keep your love with us and know that you are out there beyond the stars watching over everyone,” said the kids in unison.

“Goodbye my lovely munchkins and sweet dreams,” I said to the pictures. Some tears rolled down my cheeks. I did not bother to wipe them away. 

The tiredness was getting stronger now as the ship released the final burst of nitrogen gas and neural inhibitors. I could hear the roaring of the stars as they danced around each other. It was like a lullaby and spoke of endings and new beginnings. I thought I could hear some music. I did not recall asking for music or perhaps it was a memory of the days spent sitting by the fireplace, listening to some Christmas songs.

I kissed the picture and closed my eyes. I felt the pull of sleep and let it take me away into a land of dreams and peace.